::.. Wondering why you enjoy the company of your e34?

[Qube]

http://www.chris-longhurst.com/speakingaboutnannycars.html

Speaking about new cars... What's the point? Have people grown so lazy now that they don't know how to turn vehicle headlights on and off. Can we suddenly not work the windscreen wipers? Holy Jebus - it's annoying when you get into a car now and there's bells and chimes for ignition keys, handbrakes, doors, windows, seatbelts etc. etc. Then you're driving along and the car decides it's too dark and puts the lights on. And You Can't Override It! Then it does the same with the windscreen wipers. Drop of rain? Turn on the windscreen wipers so that they screech back and forth across a dry windscreen, ruining the wiper blades and driving the driver insane. Can you turn this function off? Of course not. It's all very helpful. NOT.

So if the manufacturers can put all this "useful" gadgetry in a car, why the hell do we have a single "check engine" light? Why don't we have a multi-function display to actually tell us what's wrong with the engine, instead of just "check engine". Despite being the single most complex piece of machinery in the entire car, all it's faults can be summed up with "check engine." Timing off? Check engine. Fuel cap loose? Check engine. Oil-starved engine about to explode? Check engine. Seatbelt undone? Has it's own light! Key in ignition? Has it's own bell! Apparently, it's more important that we have lights to state the bleeding obvious. Just so long as the drivers side window can be made to totally retract with a single button press. God knows it's so stressful to keep your finger on the button for three seconds.

The page had me entertained for 20 minutes. I found it while looking for a general guide to shelf life for engine oil. On that note, check out the other links on that page too ;)



EDIT: Sorry, didn't realize there are no links on that page. Here's one where I came from: http://www.chris-longhurst.com/carbibles/additives.html

[Jimbo]

A very entertaining, and somewhat scary read. I definitely agree with the author about Onstar and radar assisted cruise, both quite disconcerting. I dont really think ABS is quite as terrible as he made it out to be though. In the majority of situations I think it will help even the best drivers.

Just think about what these cars will be like to own when 10+ years old, imagine all of the electrical idiosyncrasies of the E34 (LKM, door lock actuators, sword...) multiplied by 100.

[ryan roopnarine]

shelf life of regular (syn or dino) oil is about 8 years out of sunlight and at room temperature. of course, in 8 years, technology will advance some (ie go from SM grade to SN grade, et cetera).

[632 Regal]

Interesting on the oil additive FTC lawsuits.

[uscharalph]

Man those cars are going to be hell to keep going 10+ years from now.

[wingman]

My father drives an E46 330i. He recently had an experience with a truck pulling out in front of him when he was doing about 120kph. He braked so hard that the computer took over and pulled his car back to 40kph within a poomfteen of a second. I agree that there is some rubbish on new cars but I'm glad that my parents are still alive because of some new technology.

[ryan roopnarine]

methinks the author exaggerates too much for me to find anything humorous/believable about anything he wrote. he goes out of his way to deride abs, and make himself seem knowledgeable subjects automotive, yet in the comparison between the chevy impala and the wrx, claims that the impala has twice the cylinders as the wrx....unless they make a 3 cylinder wrx in the 2004 MY model, he's blowing smoke. im the first to deride the 3800, as chevy seems to LOOVE to present it as some type of technological marvel (its almost 4 litres), but in this case, he's just made up something to prove his opinion. someone who claims to know something about cars should have no excuse for trying to make something up like that.

....luvvvs mah ABS
....go ahead, pull your ABS pump fuse on your e34 if you hate it so much, see how much of a manly man driver you are in the rain with your 50/50 weight and RWD. it isn't worth the hassle for the "feedback"
...would be lying if i said that driving it with it turned off for periods of time hasn't made me a better driver, though.

[DanDombrowski]

I didn't notice where he referenced his degree in mechanical design or his own experience in designing cars. Did anyone else see it?

[jplacson]

he might've meant to say twice the displacement. The article seems to have been written as an emotional outburst rather than a factual statement.

take it as an opinion, rather than a legal document.

it's funny and it makes sense.

with regards to ABS... I have to agree to some extent... but not with regards to Bimmers. My gripe with ABS is that it's such a marketing term now. ABS will NOT make your brakes better. If your car has tiny crappy disc brakes, ABS will not improve them. ABS will hide the fact that they lock up sooner. ABS brakes on a tiny disc will not be better than a car with larger vented discs. I think manufacturers should never have introduced ABS on cars with small discs... it makes drivers overly confident that they have "smart" brakes.

BTW, my E34 doesn't have ABS (it never did). I took the time to attend BMW driving school and told the instructor to teach me how to brake properly on both wet and dry roads.

[Jay 535i]

Yeah, if this was intended as a sort of comedy act, then okay. Fine. But it's not funny.

If he's serious, then he's a nut.

[skr]

the guy is insane. hey, he even hates power steering :) i'd love to see him turn a 3 ton suv rolling on 265's in a narrow street. and i sure whould like a 4 litre v8 much more than a 1.8 turbo. have to agree on the design stuff. cars do tend to get uglier.

[Jimbo]

the guy is insane. hey, he even hates power steering :) i'd love to see him turn a 3 ton suv rolling on 265's in a narrow street.

The power steering he seemed to have a problem with was that on big american cars, which i totally agree with. Most american cars have way overboosted ps systems that give almost zero feedback from the road, its like using a video game seering wheel with no force feedback.

[Gayle]

How about a black box that tells you when you are speeding and alerts the police to give you a ticket if you don't slow down?


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/09/20/nbox30.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/09/20/ixhome.html

Worth it to move to the UK just to get one. Right.

[mattyb]

as for abs. 2 weeks ago i was driving about the country side at mangrove mountian at 11pm when there was our friend skippy just hanging about the middle of a very narrow road and just around a corner minding his own friggin business when comes me at 120 ks. 6 metres till imapct. thank fk for abs and all the other **** that kicked in!

[Nick.Hay]

True, its a bit of a rant...

Personally, I love all these little gadgets like self-locking doors, self-activating lights and wipers etc.

They might be a bastard in 10 years time, but remember, our old humble E34s were the E60 of the late 80's/early 90's. They were THE BEST SALOON CAR IN THE WHOLE WORLD for a long while, and the only car that de-throned the E34 was the E39!!

Bring on the gadgets!! I LOVE THEM!! :D :D

[DanDombrowski]

I think that could be a great idea if you modify it just a bit. Say you have the device in your car that compares the cars speed to the speed limit. Every 6 months the insurance company checks the box (with your consent). If you never went over the speed limit, you get an insurance discount. If you did, no discount, no penalty.

If you don't want the box, you don't have to have it. I think a system like that would work well, but its a step in the direction of monitoring things most people don't want monitored.

[Jay 535i]

I think that could be a great idea if you modify it just a bit. Say you have the device in your car that compares the cars speed to the speed limit. Every 6 months the insurance company checks the box (with your consent). If you never went over the speed limit, you get an insurance discount. If you did, no discount, no penalty.

That would make sense if speed had anything to do with the likelihood of being in an accident. But it doesn't.

If I drive 10% over the speed limit in my BMW, do I deserve the same insurance penalty as the guy who drives 10% over the speed limit in his rustbucket Fiesta -- or is it safe to say that some cars can safely handle bigger speeds? The "speed kills" message is anti-car propaganda. Carelessness and exceeding your car's and your own abilities is what kills.

And don't tell me you're advocating a discount rather than a penalty. There's no difference.

I can think of a good use for the technology, though. How 'bout we banish speed limit signs and instead have the speed limit displayed on our dashboards. That way the speed limit could be dynamically changed to reflect the time of day, traffic, weather, etc. THAT would cut down on accidents AND get us there quicker.

[Qsilver7]

I thought the motivation behind ABS was to be able to maintain control of the car while still being able to brake. Many have taken to the notion that it stops better, faster, shorter, etc....that's not the "main" case.

Panic or emergency braking without ABS can cause the car to go into a skid...therby loosing all control of the car as it hurls in a direction undetermined by the driver and all braking is lost as the car is being propelled in this uncontrolled direction.

The advent of ABS in the scenario above...allows the driver (in a panic or emergency situation) to steer the car in a safe direction as the car's forward motion is still maintained.

ABS gives the driver steering control while braking without going into a skid...wereas non-ABS equipped cars leave the driver to the forces of nature...momentum and centrifugal forces.

[Jay 535i]

I thought the motivation behind ABS was to be able to maintain control of the car while still being able to brake. Many have taken to the notion that it stops better, faster, shorter, etc....that's not the "main" case.

Panic or emergency braking without ABS can cause the car to go into a skid...therby loosing all control of the car as it hurls in a direction undetermined by the driver and all braking is lost as the car is being propelled in this uncontrolled direction.

The advent of ABS in the scenario above...allows the driver (in a panic or emergency situation) to steer the car in a safe direction as the car's forward motion is still maintained.

ABS gives the driver steering control while braking without going into a skid...wereas non-ABS equipped cars leave the driver to the forces of nature...momentum and centrifugal forces.

That's exactly right. The shame is that using ABS effectively requires that you understand how it works and what it's for, and most people don't. But, used correctly, it certainly is worthwhile.