HDhandyman
01-14-2006, 01:37 AM
Standing in line today at a local "puter" store, I'm B.S.'n with a forty somthing fellow patron bloke (John) about how lousy the staff is at this particular establishment. The tags read "product specialist", but somehow I always seem to know more about this stuff than they do just from reading in my spare time. John and I are two idiots and an edlerly woman away from our chance to go one on one with "representative expertise" and the end is no where in sight.
"But I thawt them nu Razers was fifty percent awf?"
"No, sir you need to sign up for a new service plan to get the phone at that rate."
"Wut? You mean this add here in this paper don't even apply unless I sign up for a nu con tract? But, see here, this ad yawl got in the paper says fifty percent awf."
Jesus Christ. I can't believe that everybody from the business department is "out to lunch" and this place is looking more and more like a ****ing tech convention. Get me the hell out of here, I'm thinking. John is probably thinking the same thing (you can get a pistol this weekend at "Court Days" in MT. Sterling without a waiting period, but they don't sell ammo).
Twenty minutes later, I'm outa this bitch! God, I can't believe that 17 year old teeny boppers are allowed to explain the finer points of OSX Tiger to MAC afficianados. What the hell is wrong with this country, free enterprise has just gone too far. Walking out to the car, I'm wondering if self sacrifice really would yield 70 virgins on the beach of paradise. Incidentally, John managed to make it out in record time and we're ranting together in the parking lot when I'm hit by a 20 ton steel brick to the face.
"Like it?" he says.
I'm completely dumbfounded. Forty minutes of brimstone for forty seconds with the essence of holyness, and it's parked right next to mine.
"John, this can't be yours? Do you have any idea what this is?"
"Sure do, it's a Mint condition tan 1989 e24 custom built Alpina edition M6 with gun metal ninja stars, white leather apholstery, and a teak interior. I had it custom built and impoted it myself in '92 and it's got forty thousand originals on the clock."
Holy ****! I think I'm gonna throw up. This is the closest I've ever been to royalty.
"Stephen (because of course we're on a first name basis at this point), are you an enthusiast?"
"Well, I tinker a little and I belong to a forum."
"Good enough for me. My girl friend thinks it's ugly and my friends hate it. If you've got time you can hop in and I'll take you for a spin to blow off some steam."
It was by severe fortune only that we were right next one of the local highways and I can tell you that zero to sixty in any other car I've ridden in is an understatement, because after that we added on another sixty and words alone cannot convey the experience. Siddhartha Govinda might have called it a day under the tree, and I wouldn't have argued with him.
Fellas (and ladies of course, Gayle), sometimes miracles really do come true!
Cheers,
Stephen
"But I thawt them nu Razers was fifty percent awf?"
"No, sir you need to sign up for a new service plan to get the phone at that rate."
"Wut? You mean this add here in this paper don't even apply unless I sign up for a nu con tract? But, see here, this ad yawl got in the paper says fifty percent awf."
Jesus Christ. I can't believe that everybody from the business department is "out to lunch" and this place is looking more and more like a ****ing tech convention. Get me the hell out of here, I'm thinking. John is probably thinking the same thing (you can get a pistol this weekend at "Court Days" in MT. Sterling without a waiting period, but they don't sell ammo).
Twenty minutes later, I'm outa this bitch! God, I can't believe that 17 year old teeny boppers are allowed to explain the finer points of OSX Tiger to MAC afficianados. What the hell is wrong with this country, free enterprise has just gone too far. Walking out to the car, I'm wondering if self sacrifice really would yield 70 virgins on the beach of paradise. Incidentally, John managed to make it out in record time and we're ranting together in the parking lot when I'm hit by a 20 ton steel brick to the face.
"Like it?" he says.
I'm completely dumbfounded. Forty minutes of brimstone for forty seconds with the essence of holyness, and it's parked right next to mine.
"John, this can't be yours? Do you have any idea what this is?"
"Sure do, it's a Mint condition tan 1989 e24 custom built Alpina edition M6 with gun metal ninja stars, white leather apholstery, and a teak interior. I had it custom built and impoted it myself in '92 and it's got forty thousand originals on the clock."
Holy ****! I think I'm gonna throw up. This is the closest I've ever been to royalty.
"Stephen (because of course we're on a first name basis at this point), are you an enthusiast?"
"Well, I tinker a little and I belong to a forum."
"Good enough for me. My girl friend thinks it's ugly and my friends hate it. If you've got time you can hop in and I'll take you for a spin to blow off some steam."
It was by severe fortune only that we were right next one of the local highways and I can tell you that zero to sixty in any other car I've ridden in is an understatement, because after that we added on another sixty and words alone cannot convey the experience. Siddhartha Govinda might have called it a day under the tree, and I wouldn't have argued with him.
Fellas (and ladies of course, Gayle), sometimes miracles really do come true!
Cheers,
Stephen