stupid things to look back on and laugh (thank god we are alive)

[chris_e34]

anybody want to share embarasing, retarded, dangerous, stupid things they have done?? maybe someone can raise the bar....a while back about 6 months after i got my drivers license i was driving my first car, 85 pontiac 6000 hooptie, that thankfully never killed me. i was in a desperate situation...had to go 300 miles back home with no money and a car that a 3rd world refugee would turn down. i decided to risk my life (thankfully no one else was riding with me) the car had 4 different size wheels, no power steering, no power brakes,....really no brakes at all. the pads were so worn that it was metal to metal, the rotors were worn down so thin that to this day i have no idea how they held up. they were maybe 3mm max on both sides, and a deep groove where the pins ground away at the rotor. the transmission would slip and when you got above 60 it would decide to take breaks and just disengage. the brake lines were joined in so many places from repeat fixes im surprised they held. it had a mysterious overheating issue, that i can now confidently diagnose as a blown headgasket. at the time i was clueless. someone was watching out for me because i made that trip succesfully. ...the pic was after i finagled a complete set of rims from a junkyard. the drivers side door wouldnt stay shut...i remember on off ramps and sharp turns it would swing open. lol, im bored at work so if this post is a bit random...........im interested in seeingwhat you guys will come up with.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Oh, there have been so many. Normally aided by my trusty sidekick intoxication, my late teen years were filled with interesting stories. A few favorites:

16th birthday, finally able to drive a car alone. Take three friends out in my Nissan 200SX. At about 90 on a dirt road the steering began to get light (go figure), I managed to do three 360s, then jump into a ditch and miss a light pole by maybe a foot. That was the beginning......

Friend got a DUI in the middle of podunk Missouri (Boonville to be exact) on the way home from a concert in St. Louis, cops gave me the choice of being dropped off at a nearby truckstop, or the police station. I made the only choice an underaged, drunken teen would make. Finally found a friendly trucker that was headed to Lawrence, KS, where I was able to have my mom pick me up. She was so proud....

Being run over my a semi in the 200SX was fun, as was jumping a buddy's Jeep over a highway at 70 MPH (I didn't know it was there). Looking back at all the stupid stuff I did I not only marvel at my survival, but wonder how I could have been so damn stupid. Hopefully my son will inherit his common sense from his mother.

[chris_e34]

Hopefully my son will inherit his common sense from his mother.

hahah Cheers to that...

[Dave M]

Where to start?

I think after ten years of bike racing, things don't seem quite as dangerous.

- Intoxicated running of subway tunnels in Toronto. Try St. Clair West to Eglington West, quite a 'jog'. You get at least two trains passing you (quite closely i might add) on that run.

- Jumping from one tree into another on a dare. Many, many abrasions.....

- While fighting wildfires I dropped my nomex suit (down to the old underoos) and sat on a red ant mount for 30 seconds. Many, many bites.......Another dare.

- Drove my vw scirocco to town sitting on an aspen stump. Both seats were removed from the car and hidden by drunk friends at a party. To be returned days later.

Could go on, but I'd like to retain some form of dignity.

Dave M

[ILoveMPower]

Pfft, I don't even wanna get into this thread :P

BTW Matt love the new sig ;)

[632 Regal]

i live a calm and mondane life, the idea of doing anything dangerous is beyond me...LOL

Pfft, I don't even wanna get into this thread :P

BTW Matt love the new sig ;)

[CharlesAFerg]

Crazy car accident in an ///M5 (E39) were going 80mph through a turn here in Beaverton, OR (Laidlaw and 167th). Went through 6 trees and hit both curbs, and missed a van by just less than 2 feet (tire marks) lol

Yeah, glad I wasn't driving, I would have never forgiven myself. Stupid drunk woman was.

It was the 5 that kept us all (5 of us) alive, I'm convinced, a honda would have crushed like a tin can through those impacts. Hence why I drive an E34 today :-)

[onewhippedpuppy]

Pfft, I don't even wanna get into this thread :P

BTW Matt love the new sig ;)

Thanks! It's at a local upscale shopping center, I had to go at 7 AM when most of the stores are closed. Even then, the people picking up litter were looking at me funny.:p

[tgrandahl]

The only reason i dont drink is because im too stupid when im sobre. I have had my 525 for almost two years now. Its beetween off roading and driven me home in a flood 2.5ft of water, it's proven to be one of the most amazing piecees of engineering i have ever seen. That car has left over $1k in rubber, foglights, a bumper and other parts in parking lots and patios to a golf course (only once though).
I would rather not say most things ive done because i think they really say more about the car than how stupid i am anyways. The sad part is most things really do seem like a good idea at the time.

[KenB]

I could write a book...but I won't. I wouldn't know where to start, or stop.

[Zeuk in Oz]

Posting on this forum. :)

Seriously though, the beauty of old age is that you are allowed to forget the stupidity of youth - until the kids ask for the car keys - then it all comes flooding back ! :D

[BillionPa]

the stupidest thing i have done lately is use a bottle jack to push my strut assembley in the car up on the upper brake carrier bolt area...

it OBVIOUSLY pushed the bottle jack over, although i was about .2s too late in realising what was going to happen, went something like this:

"i wonder if this is a good ide.."
and as my eyes open wide and my brain shouts NO!..
BAM!!!!!

strut pops off the suspension and hits me square in the face.

that was last Friday.

luckily i was holding on to the bottle jack when it started to move or i would have been another half an inch closer to the strut.

and that would have probably killed me, I got away with JUST a minor fracture of the skull and a concussion, some scrapes and bruising, and my teeth hurt a bit.

[F4Phantom]

One time ( i am not proud of this and it really is stupid stupid) I was on a date. In dads honda accord 1997. Was a work car so it only knew full on, or off. Went around a blind corner with large natural walls. Got up to 170km/h approx 110miles? So i am in a corner at high speed, the car could not hold it, i go into the other lane without choice knowing if someone comes it's a high speed head-on. Still the car could not hold it, I get the 2 outside wheels in the gravel the inside on the blacktop. In the end the curve ended and I slowed down to comtemplate what I had just done. The chick had no idea of what just happend, she talked the whole way through and I did not metion it agian. As I say, stupid.

[rob101]

The chick had no idea of what just happend, she talked the whole way through and I did not metion it agian. As I say, stupid.
lol didn't have an idea of what just happened? i think any women i know would force me to pull over if i went faster than 140

[tgrandahl]

lol didn't have an idea of what just happened? i think any women i know would force me to pull over if i went faster than 140

I agree, most girls i know would start to flip out and probably try to jump.

[clhorton]

I had a nissan 200sx at one time that I really used to dog out it was my second car I remember what time trying to show off to a friend how cool it was to have rear wheel drive. I spun out and the exhaust from the cat back fell off in the middle of a busy highway. We had to stop about 30 cars to get my exhaust out of the road. Then another time in my first car my ford tempo i tried to jump a railroad track and broke the front sway bar links and both sides of the tires slammed back into the tire well. It sucked big time.

[chris_e34]

LOL, jumping railroad tracks...wow....



lol didn't have an idea of what just happened? i think any women i know would force me to pull over if i went faster than 140


i would have to agree although i am lucky enough to have a girlfriend that enjoys some competition at the track, shes looking into an e36 m3.

[genphreak]

I had a nissan 200sx at one time that I really used to dog out it was my second car I remember what time trying to show off to a friend how cool it was to have rear wheel drive. I spun out and the exhaust from the cat back fell off in the middle of a busy highway. We had to stop about 30 cars to get my exhaust out of the road. Then another time in my first car my ford tempo i tried to jump a railroad track and broke the front sway bar links and both sides of the tires slammed back into the tire well. It sucked big time.I once piloted a Mazda 1300 2-door station wagon -what mum thought was a sensible first car- into a helicopter spin. These are super small, Rear Wheel Drive cars, the 'best' of which was the 'RE-12' rotary variant. All others were 1.3 OHC, had drum brakes all round, a full box-section steel chassis, and this was the heaviest version; the 3-door mini-wagon body. It was much closer to a horse-cart than a drift car. I knew enough to know it wasn't LSD and had pissant power so figured that I couldn't get into any trouble smoking the inside wheel around a few times.

Wrong. The road had a good and gradual hump (due to the camber) in the middle. I went round smoking the inside tyre (for the first time) with my mates all looking on. Going into the second circle adn everyone was cheering. Then somehow it must have spun both wheels (I was keeping it at 4000-5000rpm in first gear so as 'not to let it grip and thus avoiding any trouble'. But that little 1300 alloy-head 4-cyl was truly an unbelievable motor): All I know is one moment all was fine and fun and the next it was heading one way then the other and it took inside 1/billionth of a second to reach the far side of the road the opposite way and several times reversed to what my senses expected. The dangers of this result were worse than I can describe for reasons that cannot be public knowledge for fear of prosecution... not that I hit anything or caused any loss/damage- (and that was sheer luck).

Nothing like learning the extent of one's own stupidity has no bounds to make you realise that perhaps neither does humanity's. It makes you realise you are more than stupid, and perhaps more than mortal; one is are more accurately doomed and temproarily lucky. And happier for it. I cannot imagine why the head gasket needed replacement shortly afterwards...

[calmloki]

For some reason fire has always been my friend. The way booze is an alchoholics. Set several VW bugs on fire when testing fuel pumps without disconnecting the coil (pull the line at the carb and see if it squirts gas while your partner cranks it over). This gets even more fun if you get a good gravity flow leak going, flame goes to the puddle under the car, and you try to push the car out of the shop bay and off the big blaze. NB: fire follows the trail of gas. Stop pushing to put out the fire and the flowing gas pools and makes another big blaze under the car. Push car faster. Dodge flame trails. Hilarity ensues.
At a younger age I tried to clear a flooded truck engine by having my kid brother crank over the engine as I lit a slug of gas in the throat of the carb, thinking sucking in the flame would burn clean the sparkplugs. Blew the valve cover completely off the engine.
Got into a nest of groundwasps and tried to burn it out. Fire was fading so sloshed a stream of gas onto the waning fire. See above regarding fire's ability to follow said stream. To the can yers truly was holding.
Currently missing most of an eyebrow, my hairline is a 1/4" further back, and the hair in my left nostril is neatly removed by the flame from my moustache. When trying to clean the orifices on a gas range with carb cleaner it is best to blow out the pilot lights. Only a couple minor burns from the melted hair as I attempted to wipe the blaze off my head.
Don't even get me started on black powder splitting guns, blasting caps as fireworks, shooting arrows straight up (they disappear - you get one chance to see which way they will fall when they make their turn at the apex), hitting cartidge primers on an anvil with a hammer, safe and sane driving....
Tom "Mr. Safety" Walrod

[angrypancake]

i don't know where to start. most of the dumb things i did involved being drunk. there was the period where i did way too many drugs, and of course there was fire. from the age of 10 til about 18 fire was my best friend, then there was college. oh wait i'm still in it. from being found passed out at the intersection of 114th/broadway at 7am, to almost burning down my best friend's house. if i had 9 lives i've probly burned (pun slightly intended) through 7 or 8 of them. someone's looking out for me.

Two car accidents, one involving 3 trees and the loss of a 525.
The honda I used to have, don't know how I didn't wreck it and kill myself.
WD-40 + lighter = make your own fireballs
The stick of dynamite I got my hands on....
The blood alcohol level of .4 ("Let's buy a breathalyzer and see who can get the highest!!!!" Worst idea ever...)
The list continues....

[Dave M]

[QUOTE=angrypancake]
WD-40 + lighter = make your own fireballs
The stick of dynamite I got my hands on....
QUOTE]

Oh, this reminds me of an entire suite of stupd stuff I did while fighting forest fires......

How fire proof is Nomex fabric? Not that fireproof.

Before the next chopper comes in, lets soak a log in pump/av gas, light one end, push it out into a lake and try to paddle it to the other side without bailing or rolling it over. Hint, keep the far end tilted up as high as possible.

Dave M

[Nick.Hay]

Barrel-rolling a Corolla panel van out in a local forest... and walking away uninjured!!

circle work on my high skool oval the night before a special guest visited the skool.

and heaps more. But the worst:

Travelling 100km on a highway at night in 28mins... Whilst under the influence of class-A narcotics. OOPS... Atleast with only myself in the car.

[angrypancake]

what're class A's?

[Rustam]

I can rember one very stupid thing I did once.

Haloween 1995. My friend and I smoked some pot and went for a ride at ~11pm. The weather was damp and it was slightly drizzling. So for some idiotic reason (perhaps there was no reason?). I decided to accelerate. Oh yes I remember now - the engine of a car sounds ugh so powerful when one is smoked up! So I accelerated the car just because i liked the sound. Problem is - the road is narrow, along poorly lit alley, and driving on it for first time. Going where don't know - but engine - sound good!

I found that there had been a slight hill ahead of me - "had been" becasue I found out airborne flying at about 65 mph... What a sight of a perfectly aligned two car garage door facing the person as he is flying in the car right into it apparently because the road happens to take 90 degree turn to the left immediately after the bump!!!

mes-me-ri-zing!!!

The car was Firebird. We were headed "perfect 10" into that garage door let-me-tell-you! Slam! I thought I was going to die I mean D-I-E... The slanted nose of the Firebird hits the door, bends it in, while managing to pick it up driving in as a wedge it is...
I thought I was going to see a 1000 pieces of windshield glass flying into my face - because that door - better a wall of metal was travelling over the hood slipping directly into the windshield. Inevitability of drama - it shrinks something inside. I think had a silly instinct to extend my arms - to stop it?

It seemed it took a very long time before the car actually stopped. The door never hit the windshield. We hit a van inside. It was there and just stopped us. The engine instantly died...

And scilence...

I was really not aware of the presence of my buddy there next to me through this. Untill I heard "Quick ! start the car! Pull out!"...

- "What? 'Start the car' ?" - I had the comment in my mind. Is it gonna start? Is the car totally smashed? Is the engine even there? The mind has fine ability to process data quickly in times of a rush...

Half an hour later I was purely amazed to find out that nothing happened to the car's front - for the exception of stuck flip-up light. No scratches, no dents, no torn tatters of metal. The garage door has a rubber lining along the bottom edge for soft closure with ground...

Yeah... Remembering this incident now, and how we got away, with no single scratch, with fine looking car - I can say - a thing like this can only happen to someone very very stupid! Only very stupid have a remarkably incidental way of slipping by trouble... But then - I was only 19.

And, indeed, what an experience! Haloween, 1995, ~11PM, slippery road, dark alley, traveling at 65mph for first time... Hidden hill just ahead.

[sKilled]

what're class A's?

According to Ali G, they is of a better kwalitee dan da class B, aiii.

[Nick.Hay]

Stuff you get in BIG trouble for.

E, speed, coke, etc... :(

Not very proud of that night.

[tdgard]

Wifey calmly said to me the other day as we were going down the entrance ramp to the interstate "Honey your doing 100mph".

[angrypancake]

I remember a buddy of mine had just got his license. I was the youngest in my class and consequently had to suffer the consequenses of riding along with everyone else. Anyways, we always used to go drink beer and play this par 3 course. One day we went out (and actually didn't drink) and he's like dude theres this huge hill if we take the back way home. I'm like whatever, sure... So we finish the game, and its dark out, we head home.

We're cruising along, and all of a sudden is this huge downhill, and like any typical 17 year old, he floors it. Yee-f'ing-haw. By the time we hit the bottom speeds are approaching 90ish, and im staring out the window and all of a sudden this sign goes whizzing by: 20mph curve. I do a quadruple take and flip ****, start screaming my head off and he finally realizes what I'm yelling about and mashes the brakes. The road was wet, the wheels lock and oh boy here we go sliding. It spins once, twice, and by some amazing luck, we miss a couple of trees, a rock wall, and come to rest in some guys driveway. The road curved right and we went straight. Somehow, some way, we didn't hit anything. 5 feet to the right or left and we go through the rock wall and into said home's living room window. I was like dude, what the ****? He's like I've only been on this road once, and didn't remember the curve. Needless to say we didn't speak on the way home.

[calmloki]

Wifey calmly said to me the other day as we were going down the entrance ramp to the interstate "Honey your doing 100mph".

It's important to point out in such cases that the passenger's view is not a straight on view, thus making it inaccurate. It is important NOT to point out in such cases that the passenger's view results in a lower than actual speed reading.

[fujioko]

Many years ago I took the engine off my dirtbike, pulled it apart and cleaned it until it was immaculate. Unbeknown to me, I put the magneto in wrong upon reassembly.

Obviously the bike wouldn’t start. I had kicked the engine it over until my ankle was sore. Then proceeded to push the bike.. still no start. During this process I adjusted the throttle so it would hold open about ½.. that way I wouldn’t need to keep my hand on the grip……

After a few hours I discovered the engine was firing at the bottom of the stroke. Ohhh easy fix.... I corrected the mistake. Gave the bike a quick shove, jumped on it side saddle and kicked the shifter down. That 100cc two stroke fired instantly and the bike took off at half throttle in first gear.

At some point in the acceleration I lost my grip and I clearly remember flying (all in slow motion) I hit the ground with both hands in front of me fracturing both wrists. The tumble continued with plenty of road rash and lacerations.

The bike continued up the street and slammed into a Subaru. The bike was destroyed. My brother and I dragged the bike back and hid it in the shed.

Now the stupid part… I didn’t tell my parents for a week. The wrist injuries became unbearable and I finally confessed. During the week of pain, I had dressed all my wounds with paper towels and masking tape. Ohhh to be a kid again.

[Ross]

A very long time ago I drove an old Plymouth that had NO brakes on a trip of about forty miles. The only redemption was a manual gearbox that allowed engine braking and my willingness to grind it into reverse and abuse the clutch at very slow speeds if I needed to come to a complete stop.
You see,a friend(the bad influence) and I decided we needed to visit some girls we knew. The only running car between us was this "65 Plymouth with a busted brake line. My friend being an incorrigible horndog talked me into it.
We drove mostly expressway and it was late so little traffic. It was really an uneventful trip although the few times that required a full stop were a little "anxious".
No, we didn't get laid.

[rob101]

A very long time ago I drove an old Plymouth that had NO brakes on a trip of about forty miles. The only redemption was a manual gearbox that allowed engine braking and my willingness to grind it into reverse and abuse the clutch at very slow speeds if I needed to come to a complete stop.
You see,a friend(the bad influence) and I decided we needed to visit some girls we knew. The only running car between us was this "65 Plymouth with a busted brake line. My friend being an incorrigible horndog talked me into it.
We drove mostly expressway and it was late so little traffic. It was really an uneventful trip although the few times that required a full stop were a little "anxious".
No, we didn't get laid.
thats gold, i've always wondered what it'd be like to slow a car down without brakes. in a "wonder what i should do if" scenarios" wouldn't really try it by choice:p

[Ross]

It was pretty stupid. But the FORCE beckoned us! I would be terrified today in the same siuation. There also would no longer be the devine providence afforded youth.

[kyleN20]

ohhh yes, my the memories

how about this one....

racing the e34 vrs a chiped and intaked esclade, and another friends sable ls. going 95ish down a two lane road and the only other car on the road is a cop, and he cut a QUICK u turn and turned on his lights, and i punched the gas, quickly caught up to traffic, and weaved in and out of it at 100 plus, spent some time in opposing traffic, and cut in just in time, the e34 just barley holind its back end in and then fishtailed into a parking lot and hide behind a ford truck, not only did i not get a ticket or caught, non of the other two friends got caught either.

[Gayle]

For some reason fire has always been my friend. The way booze is an alchoholics. Set several VW bugs on fire when testing fuel pumps without disconnecting the coil (pull the line at the carb and see if it squirts gas while your partner cranks it over). This gets even more fun if you get a good gravity flow leak going, flame goes to the puddle under the car, and you try to push the car out of the shop bay and off the big blaze. NB: fire follows the trail of gas. Stop pushing to put out the fire and the flowing gas pools and makes another big blaze under the car. Push car faster. Dodge flame trails. Hilarity ensues.
At a younger age I tried to clear a flooded truck engine by having my kid brother crank over the engine as I lit a slug of gas in the throat of the carb, thinking sucking in the flame would burn clean the sparkplugs. Blew the valve cover completely off the engine.
Got into a nest of groundwasps and tried to burn it out. Fire was fading so sloshed a stream of gas onto the waning fire. See above regarding fire's ability to follow said stream. To the can yers truly was holding.
Currently missing most of an eyebrow, my hairline is a 1/4" further back, and the hair in my left nostril is neatly removed by the flame from my moustache. When trying to clean the orifices on a gas range with carb cleaner it is best to blow out the pilot lights. Only a couple minor burns from the melted hair as I attempted to wipe the blaze off my head.
Don't even get me started on black powder splitting guns, blasting caps as fireworks, shooting arrows straight up (they disappear - you get one chance to see which way they will fall when they make their turn at the apex), hitting cartidge primers on an anvil with a hammer, safe and sane driving....
Tom "Mr. Safety" Walrod


Given that fire is intent on finding you, have you ever considered a career as a firefighter? As in go with what life deals you?

[calmloki]

Given that fire is intent on finding you, have you ever considered a career as a firefighter? As in go with what life deals you?

And you would suggest an alchoholic own a bar? I'm a little old to chase fires as a career now - Fire and gravity are fast enough to make them a young man's game. Which reminds me of jacking up 1/2 of a house using a single 28' beam and the few jacks I had on hand. The jacks tipped and spit out the beam twice. When you are under the house it's real exciting having it come down from several inches up, bouncing on the center support beam - KAWUMPH!! - . Incredible how fast a big beam can move. House shook for a bit (so did I). Sally was up in the house working on a floor - she was also out pretty fast to see if I was a mush pancake. Did that twice, then hired a pro to jack it up and do the foundation. Sometimes money is cheaper.
Tom

[SchnellE34]

A week before thanksgiving 2002, I was 20 years old and at the time was driving my '89 535i. I was leaving my girlfriends house a little after 2 in the morning and my friends knew I was there and were just down the street in their car waiting for me to leave. (They had just left a party not far away so they decided to wait there and meet up with me.) Well I told them we could go back to my house and hang out there so they followed in my buddies '95 Corsica. Well needless to say my friend decided to pass my along a two lane road so I also sped up. While making a right onto the street my neighborhood was on I started fishtailing but regained control and for some stupid ass reason decided to gun it again. I was doing about 80 mph and suddenly lost all control of the car because the small decline of the road was complete black ice. With my friends slowing down and looking on, I spun completely around, went off the road and up a small embankment. At the top, I managed to take out about 30 yards of this dudes fence including 6 posts and 4 small pine trees. I landed back at the bottom facing the right way again. Got out of the car (completely unharmed of course) and just started laughing my ass off. My friends and I pickup my body pieces that were lying along the hill and looked over my car. We had to have been out there a while but the owner of the house never came out or turned on any lights. So I decided to leave the scene (big mistake) and limped home because my left wheel was bent at least 45 degrees inward. Again this happened on the road that my neighborhood was on.

Now the fun part… I parked the car at my house and put a sheet over the worst part of the damage the front left fender. We went inside my house and smoked a **** ton of pot and laughed it off. We had just finished and sat down to play some GTA3 and all of sudden… nock nock nock! Holy ****! We all froze and I was just like I’m ****ed, I’m ****ed. So I opened the door and the conversation with the cop went something like this: Cop: “what do you want to do?” Me: “uuuuuh” Cop: “are you intoxicated” Me: “no, sir” Cop: “is this your car?” Me: “yes, sir” Cop: “so you aren’t out joyriding around in your parent’s car?” Me: “no sir” Cop: “ok, lets go back there and talk to the owner of the property”

So he drove me down there and I told the owner that I was going to come back in the morning and confess. (of course I hadn’t planned on it) I ended up getting a $350 citation, my insurance covered the property damages and gave me $6500 for the car. I had just put new tires on the car too!

Now you are asking, how did the cop know it was my car? The only part we didn’t pick up was my euro license plate. The cop found it and remembered seeing it on my car. I had the only BMW in the neighborhood and always parked it in the driveway. What a night…