One thing after another has forced me to....

[Brian C.]

...come to one of those "forks in the road" that we all seem to meet, sooner or later. The past two or so weeks have been very difficult for me. Some things have been easy to deal with, some not so easy altogether. I have had to make decisions that will alter my life. And BTW, this is not an April Fool's joke.

My parents are in the late stages of their lives, and their health has been good up until recently. Two weeks ago my father(90yrs)had a stroke. My mother(86yrs)is in good health, but now has to care for her husband of 63 years on an hourly basis. Thankfully they moved to an adult care community a few years ago and now my father has most all of the actual "care" that he needs at his disposal. He doesn't walk anymore and he can only speak in single word responses. While the physical care is at least being provided for them, the emotional toll is what is the hardest to deal with. My mother tries to be there for him whenever he needs and I'm afraid that she is taxing herself to much. They live about 45 miles from me, so my being there is not too big of an issue. I've been there and back at least 10 times in the past two weeks. Things could be worse, we've all had great lives together, so we will just take it from here.

Next up is my job. On top of being very busy lately, we recently have had a very large retirement program end in my Department, somewhere around 10% in a police department of about 5000 employees. What this means is that the oldest, most experienced leaders are now gone. My former supervisor has been replaced by a person that feels that the world owes her a job, salary, accolades, and a take-home car with gas card. In return, she feels obligated to talk on the phone 4-5 hours a day and surf E-Bay the rest of the time. Ah....civil service....ya gotta love it. She will be retiring in 3 years herself so the act of taking an interest in our office doesn't concern her. Now, none of this has any bearing on my paycheck, just my sanity. What it means is that everyone who now needs any kind of answer or help or request just by-passes her and comes directly to me. Now I get to be the ******* who tells people "no". And she makes 30% more than me. Hey, every two weeks I'll get paid until I retire, quit, or die. I can handle it. I just won't like it.

Then it was the car. After my fun a month or so ago with my fuel pump and crank sensor, I hoped that the car would be under control for a while. No such luck. After a late night return from my parent's place, I felt a slight surging or slipping in the gears. I woke up the next morning to a small puddle of tranny fluid under the car. The guy at the local garage put it on the rack and showed me that the fluid was coming from the front seal on the transmission. He said he wouldn't do that kind of work on a foreign car, but said that it should be OK for a few days. I went to the dealer and he confirmed the leak and added that the bottom of the tranny case, near the seal, was cracked too. He showed me the crack. This is where I ran up the white flag. I told them thanks, but no thanks.

So..........I drove home, and the next morning I woke up and looked in the paper for the car ads. I went to a nearby dealer and traded the car in for a 2004 PT Cruiser. The touring edition with the I4 2.4 turbo. At that point I really didn't care what I was driving, just that it would be one less headache to deal with, and not too much of a monthly payment. And these new cars....they come with this thing called a "warranty". Bumper-to-bumper. It's certainly not like driving a BMW, but it surprized me how well it was made and how it handled. Lots of room inside too. Oh well. It's gone. This too shall pass. But it'll pass with a turbo-kick! :p

But I'll still be around. How could I pass up the opportunity to pass on my vast knowledge? I've got a few odds and ends that I won't need anymore and when I get a few free minutes(!)I'll get them together and offer them up. Oops.....gotta go....the bitc......I mean my boss is calling.

Peace

Brian C.
'04 PT Cruiser
'95 525ia...RIP

[Patrick]

Hey Brian, sorry to hear of all the things going on in your life that, well, could be better than they are at the moment. I won't bother to wax poetic on 'The Life is Hard ' soapbox since most of us, who have lived any length of time, already know that. Stop in and say hi every now and then and best of luck with everything.
Patrick

[ryan roopnarine]

was up....methinks you'll be back in a bmw (as a 2nd car) at some point, likely one of them ugly 328 or 528e's so rampant down there. a $1000 dollar car that'll likely outlast your chrystler corporation product, i know i can't deal with the FWD american/jap cars no more. sorry to hear about your mother and father, at least you live in jaunting distance and don't have do procure a plane ticket when you need to be with them, and they can't put you off and tell you not to bother coming down there (to try to be nice).

[G Feller]

A blues man would call it a "crossroads". . . and you obviously sold yourself to the devil. ;)

Just kidding man, I really feel for you and congratulations on the new ride. I am sure it is really nice in its way, and I guarantee a lot of people on this board think weekly if not daily about how nice it would be to have all maintenance covered for a few years.

Very sorry to hear about your father's stroke. I noticed you had been around less lately and that the posts you did make did not seem so full of your usual good cheer.

Change = stress, and you've had a lot of it lately. . . don't know how you are really holding up, but I've often found therapy to make a significant difference when I did not have a good woman in my life. Then again, sometime a new car actually takes care of everything . . . at least for a while.

Good luck with all and we look forward to hearing you chime in whenever you do.

- Greg



...come to one of those "forks in the road" that we all seem to meet, sooner or later.

Two weeks ago my father(90yrs)had a stroke. My mother tries to be there for him whenever he needs and I'm afraid that she is taxing herself to much.

My former supervisor has been replaced by a person that feels that the world owes her a job, salary, accolades, and a take-home car with gas card. In return, she feels obligated to talk on the phone 4-5 hours a day and surf E-Bay the rest of the time.

I went to a nearby dealer and traded the car in for a 2004 PT Cruiser.

[George M]

I too would like to weigh in Brian and express my sympathy about your parents. I lost my father a few years ago which was devastating, and my Mom, God bless her is still going strong in Florida. I lost my Grandma over the holiday which was very hard on the whole family so I know a bit about some of the pain you experiencing. Yes aging BMW's can be daunting if not overwhelming as a principle driver. For day in and day out use, I have bought a car not unlike yours only a bit older...a 2001 Saturn twin cam 5 spd 3 door. It too is no BMW but is great for popping around town and it is good on gas when I am not much into the throttle (which I always am.) It is also very simple to work on...kinda like a big go-kart...only slower :-) The dilemma about using an aging BMW daily is they need a fair amount of wrenching which is expensive either in time or if you have someone else do the work...still time consuming to lay the car up and can get expensive as many things need replaceement beyond 120k miles. Brian, I have always enjoyed your presence on the board...you are one of the real good guys and wish you nothing but the best in the future. Better days ahead my friend and hope you stop by and visit and provide that great sense of humor that really adds to the board.
George

[632 Regal]

Sorry to hear all this bad news Brian, knew something was up since your posting has slowed lately even after your car was repaired. Sounds like a second vehicle would have made the stress levels a little lower and gave you the break you needed with the BMW. WHen I first jouned the board I remembered your car was one good looking vehicle.

Post some pictures of it!!

Hope all goes well for you in the future and keep in touch when you have thi time.

Jeff

[califblue]

Sorry dude :( , But COWBOY THE **** UP!, no one said Life is easy :( trust me we all have out own share of problems. DO what ever you got to do to maintain your sanity...personally I go Surfing or ride my motorcycle...what ever it takes just do it and stop whining.
P.S. Good Luck and Don't your Cord Snap :D

[rickm]

Sorry to hear about the folks, I hope everything turns out ok for them.

I'm getting rid of my 5 also, with my having to leave my state job soon I'll have to commute an hour or so, I want something I can just drive there and back. :) I might keep the 5 for local stuff or long trips but I don't want to trash it on what's going to be a 120 mile/day drive.

[ScottyWM]

Brian - I've always enjoyed your contributions here - make sure you come back often.

I lost both my parents by the time I was 18 (I'm 49 now), and I was on my own. Having your parents grow old certainly beats the alternative. Be thankful for all the years you've had. And let them know that while you can.

The car... it's just a car man. Anyone good bimmer guy here will tell you the car does not make the man. (Hell, if it does, my car is too good for me!) On the list of what's important in life, it doesn't even rate.

The job... there seems to be one in every organization. Try not to let her affect the good relationships I'm sure you've developed. But take heart! My adversary of 11 years at my work just announced that he quit yesterday!! I told him I would throw a party for him ... as long as he stayed away!

Find something that gives you joy, and pursue it. It may be cycling or woodworking or massage or music or collecting Bogart movies. Do what you have to do, but take time to do what you want to do.

Scott

[Javier]

Really sorry for your dad, think he's 90, hope I can get there. Per your post, I'm sure he got the best of life. Good care for your mom, she is taking the worst part. Forget about the car, just a car. On the job, that's another thing, be sure to let us know how did you finally stick that bi...

As we say in Spanish, "Animo", I'm sure things will get better for you.

Javier

[Jr ///M5]

Brian,

You're a good son to be there for your parents. Cherish them while you can, say the things you've always wanted to say while they are here.

The kinship that you've made on the board is only because of a certain car. There are many more out there, love as many as you can, life is too short. If something makes you unhappy, get rid of it.

Just remember, if you're ever in our neck of the woods, you're more than welcome to take a drive in the M5, until you come to your senses and buy another BMW.....=)

And do me a favor.....Tell your parents, "The board says, Hi from Jr"......I miss mine too.


Jr

[mikey535im]

Brian,
It saddens me to hear of another board member without his/her e34 due to the auto trans.
Why exactly was it that BMW went to GM for the production of the auto trans instead of perhaps a european designed auto?
Cars come and go , family and best friends last for someones lifetime, you'll be back as an owner/member soon enough.(consider a manual, ohh wait m5's only come in manual trans.)
Did you hear Daimler/Chrysler is offering a 'HEMI' in the '05 PT Cruisers ? (that was an April Fools).
Wishing you and yours the very best
Mike

[Brian C.]

And relatively speaking, I'm not going through anything too different than what many others here have. Death, divorce, job loss, accidents and injuries are all topics that have come up here at one time or another. I can almost hear Elton John singing, "The Circle of Life" in the background. ;) You do the best you can and you go on.

Now can any of you think, what was the first thing I searched the internet for, after I got the Chrysler PT Cruiser?? Why a performance chip, of course!! The I-4 2.4L turbo puts out 180hp and it's sooooo much lighter than the E34, but I think that chips are made for them. It's an OBDII system, so maybe it's just a matter of a Shark-injector thing. I dunno, I haven't spent too much time looking yet. Maybe I can be a test dummy for Mark's EAT expansion! :D

Peace.

Brian C.

[warton]

...when you "disappeared" for a couple of weeks recently. You're an important member of this community, and I hope everything works out for the best for you. Even if you don't have an e34 I hope you stick around - you've got a unique view on life and I've always appreciated it.

Regards,
Peter

[BennyM]

I'm not as eloquent as some of the other guys with this sorta thing, but I thought I'd add some support. I'm sure things will pick up soon enough and, who knows, you could wind up as head of your department and find your self back in the seat of a BMW. The Cruiser isn't a bad compromise. I never had a car with a warranty, but I can bet it's a sweet deal to not have any repair worries. Sorry about your father. I'm sure that's rough. Take it easy and stop in from time to time.

BennyM

[Paul in NZ]

they are but hey mate from accross the pacific my best wishes,,,my dad recently suffered a massive stroke couldnt even talk or swallow.....Make the best use of your time with your mum and dad these things are precious...jobs and cars well sorta but fringe stuff really.
cheers Brian :)
on a more sober note but from one who has been through this.Make sure all your dads affairs are in order...its hard but after the fact its much more stressfull/time consuming

[ryan roopnarine]

[QUOTE=Brian C.]

Now can any of you think, what was the first thing I searched the internet for, after I got the Chrysler PT Cruiser?? Why a performance chip, of course!! The I-4 2.4L turbo puts out 180hp and it's sooooo much lighter than the E34, but I think that chips are made for them. It's an OBDII system......., [QUOTE]

the premiere chip (and i believe the only legit) for the PT is the ase, www.asechips.com, their site is down now. the cost for a normally aspirated system programming is about 400 odd dollars, and you have to send away the PCM fer 48 hours 'cause its OBDII and they need to reprogram it. don't know bout the turbonium version though, lotsa american type addons that weren't applicable to the BMW, like performance coilpacks, but i'm sure a lot of this is crap. hopefully you're headgasket here will stay just as virgin as the 525i, good luck.

[Brian C.]

My parents have always been very good about keeping their records and affairs in order. My Dad was an engineer his whole life, so his papers have always been correct and up to date.

You and Crusty and Brett and the rest of the Kiwi guys have always been great members here and it's nice to have friends all over the globe!

Brian C.

[Robbo]

Good luck mate, and strength for the future. I hung around after I sold my BMW so can't see any reason why you shouldn't.

All the best,

Robbo.

[billb]

While my situation is not nearly as chaotic as yours, I sympathize with you. And I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. As others have said, you're a good son to take their care as seriously as you are.

Now, on to the car...I've obviously been out of the loop on your troubles. Had no idea that you were having fuel pump/crank sensor issues. Now the tranny goes. You and sbcncsu make two '95 525ia's now that have let go. I'm counting on Ginger for at least another 2-3 years before we trade in the E34 and the Exploder for a used X3...this doesn't bode well.

Please stay in touch. We're in the process of moving (I'm putting the epoxy floor in the new garage this weekend ;p), but I'll hopefully get more chances to drop by the board once we get settled.

And anytime you're up my way, you're welcome to take a spin in Ginger (or Junior, the fun little E30).

Good luck,
Bill

[Brian C.]

.....a few items reference a "chip" or software upgrade, but they all specifically mentioned the 150hp 2.4L non-turbo. I'll need to surf a bit when I find time. BTW the GVW is ~3300lbs. And the center of gravity is much higher. Gonna need time to get used to it.

Brian C.

[mikey535im]

.....a few items reference a "chip" or software upgrade, but they all specifically mentioned the 150hp 2.4L non-turbo. I'll need to surf a bit when I find time. BTW the GVW is ~3300lbs. And the center of gravity is much higher. Gonna need time to get used to it.

Brian C.
http://bean.ptcruizer.net/images/pt_delivery_sedan.jpg Thought it looked really cool!
Brian, did you consider a Mini at all?
Mike

[JR'Z 525]

I wish you and your parents the best as you travel these "forks in the road". I know someday I'll be going down a similar one with my folks.
As for the new car...way to go! The drop top PT is sharp!
Like Robbo said just because you are (temporarily we suspect) out of a Bimmer is no reason not to drop in!
JR