View Full Version : Problems? - I need help FAST!!
pundit
10-03-2006, 05:29 PM
I have a car.
What's wrong with it?
pundit
10-03-2006, 05:32 PM
Oh yeah, it's a BMW.
pundit
10-03-2006, 05:33 PM
Bump!
pundit
10-03-2006, 05:33 PM
Bumpity bump!!
DaveVoorhis
10-03-2006, 05:36 PM
The dangling rod has fallen into the swiveling wheel. The Bentley book describes how to fix this.
pundit
10-03-2006, 05:44 PM
Search Noob!!
WTF??!!???
I don't get man? Search for what?
I come here to this so called Bimmer forum where you guys should know everything 'bout Bimmers and be able to answer all of my questions and fix my problems in an instant and all you do is have the nerve to go tell me to...
"Search Noob!!??"
LOL! I was actually buying it until I saw who he was referring to as noob ;) POINT!
Scott C
10-03-2006, 07:42 PM
Wrong forum - need to search Honda forum ;)
Scott
632 Regal
10-03-2006, 07:54 PM
have you looked in the archives under Bettle? this should help if not spam me again and you will be redirected into oblivion...just kidding
what was the question? how many 12 oz beers are in a US keg?
Gayle
10-03-2006, 08:21 PM
I think the problem is user error.
WTF??!!???
...you guys should know everything 'bout Bimmers and be able to answer all of my questions and fix my problems in an instant and all you do is have the nerve to go tell me to...
"Search Noob!!??"
I have an instant fix to ALL of your problems...
to continue in English, press number 1 on your keyppad now.
to have your diagnosis emailed to you, press ANY key.
I'm sorry, we could not understand your response.
Thanks for calling.
Have a nice day.:)
Goodbye!
Frickin nut behind the wheel.
Gayle
10-03-2006, 08:49 PM
Are you sure it is a bmw? Bmws never have problems.
muahahaha
http://www.bimmer.info/forum/showthread.php?t=22521
Bimmerman
10-03-2006, 10:41 PM
muahahaha
http://www.bimmer.info/forum/showthread.php?t=22521
...Aah the grand master himself!:) We truly were not worthy!:D
rob101
10-03-2006, 10:51 PM
I finally got through to his private line in his mansion in latvia, he says he might be getting back to australia in december, he's snowed under with developing the new 2 series.
Zeuk in Oz
10-03-2006, 11:10 PM
I have a car.
What's wrong with it?
The answer is 1.7598530233333
HDhandyman
10-03-2006, 11:25 PM
muahahaha
http://www.bimmer.info/forum/showthread.php?t=22521
oh, man...that thread is classic!
Alexlind123
10-04-2006, 12:08 AM
lollerskates
Blitzkrieg Bob
10-04-2006, 12:51 AM
put a hundred dollar bill in your right ear and go to the dealer
Alexlind123
10-04-2006, 01:28 AM
lollercoaster
Paul in NZ
10-04-2006, 01:56 AM
put a hundred dollar bill in your right ear and go to the dealer
Sheesh they wont even let you into the spares dept with that
zhandax
10-04-2006, 05:22 AM
To replicate the sailing experiece: don a 1k Italian suit, stand in a shower, and flush $100 bills down the toilet. To repliclicate the BMW ownership experience, you do not need to stand in the shower.
You, on the other hand, need to take your car to BMW of (nearest dealership) They will take good care of you. BWM crafted their customer service experience with people like you in mind.
BTW, care to share what is wrong with your car?
rob101
10-04-2006, 06:05 AM
BTW, care to share what is wrong with your car?
it had a catastrophic failure of the whatsitsname which caused a failure in the thingie.
mattyb
10-04-2006, 07:24 AM
yes! i believe that it is sometimes caused by the duva lackie and the corresponding relay for the duva lackie. This in conjunction with the fukwit drive seeting screw and the resulting displacent issues that occurr within the dikhed chamber lead me to suggest that yuor cat is pregnant and some karnt nicked your thongs, simple really! but this only occurss on the upper mongolia delivered cars on a thursday
ricola
10-04-2006, 08:17 AM
the solution to your problem is to go to the spares dept. with a new Visa card. Ask them your question. They will start looking up part numbers. Then hand you a bill in exchange for a couple of good swipes of the Visa.
Now if you would have know the part numbers in advance the parts would have cost less.
Now if you send them an email with part numbers, that's a different pricing structure...????
Now then ask them for a club discount after they swipe your card. They will re-swipe the car and change you for the cancelled sale, then give you the discount. That's another price. For the same part?
You see,,they bill you on a sliding scale. I think they called it metric pricing.. for real!
So you see, the problem isn't with the car. It's the metric system!
steve0suprem0
10-04-2006, 11:02 AM
you guys are al wrong. you gotta recalibrate the canooter valve. DUH.
DaveVoorhis
10-04-2006, 11:06 AM
Change the muffler bearings and replace the blinker fluid.
Most US kegs are really 1/2 kegs holding 15.5 US gallons of beer. Quite common also is a 1/4 keg, holding (not suprisingly) 1/2 of a 1/2 keg. See, for example http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keg .
Please don't over-pump the keg or you get far more than 164 glasses of foam.
Hal
1994 530iT 158,000 mi Nikasil powered
1999 528iT 92,000 mi
mikell
10-04-2006, 01:02 PM
Try a lobotomy, you won't feel a thing and you won't care anymore.
Shotgun Lobotomy
10-04-2006, 01:17 PM
Try a lobotomy, you won't feel a thing and you won't care anymore.
perhaps i can be of assistance?
it's so simple. the problem is
pundit
10-04-2006, 08:23 PM
I think the problem is user error.
No it's okay my OBC (http://clients.net2000.com.au/~rowmat/hal.mp3) just picked up the fault! ;)
Blitzkrieg Bob
10-04-2006, 08:38 PM
you need
http://www.kalecoauto.com/
Most cars suffer from this horrible malady - a loose nut behind the wheel!! But not anymore. Only one company had the foresight and brilliance to bring you this product - The Pilot Wrench. Quickly tighten the nut behind ANY wheel for instant improvements in responsiveness, handling, and braking! Please indicate how big of a bolt head is behind the wheel before ordering! If unsure, ask your friends. Also available in metric.
Gayle
10-04-2006, 08:53 PM
No it's okay my OBC (http://clients.net2000.com.au/~rowmat/hal.mp3) just picked up the fault! ;)
100% failure in 72 hours! You do need help FAST!
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