OT: are they--honest to god--putting exhaust ports on the fenders of new cars now?

[ryan roopnarine]

i drove by a buick dealer today, and lo and behold, one of the "showcase cars" (new cars facing the street) was some manner of buick. the only problem with this scenario was that i saw three plastic exhaust portholes on both sides of the fender on this particular vehicle. i didn't believe what i saw, so i took a second pass from a different direction. yep....new (or 07 model) buick with the new technology "speed holes". i mean, it's one thing to put the holes on a RWD car, or a car that could conceivably have the exhaust dumping through the fender. the buick in question, however, was fwd (as they all are, i guess). i saw a flipping lincoln town car last night, in the parking lot of burger king (r) with 6, SIX! portholes divided among both fenders. i was going to stop and tell the owner about the problem, but i decided against it, as i hate the damn things.

[Macv]

yes?

[winfred]

they have those little stick on plastic warts on about every other car around here, must be the new thing

[LunatiC]

Pics! I want to see how ridiculous these "speed holes" are.

Reminds me of the time Homer Simpson wanted to buy a car and the mafia wanted to off him.

* grabs a pick-axe and hammers holes in his hood and fenders *

By the way, the Holden Commodore (this model and previous ones) had "speed holes" as well, first on the SS and now across the entire range. Ironically, Holden is also owned by GM.

[winfred]

these are the warts i speak of http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?from=R40&_trksid=m37&satitle=port+holes&category0=


Pics! I want to see how ridiculous these "speed holes" are.

Reminds me of the time Homer Simpson wanted to buy a car and the mafia wanted to off him.

* grabs a pick-axe and hammers holes in his hood and fenders *

By the way, the Holden Commodore (this model and previous ones) had "speed holes" as well, first on the SS and now across the entire range. Ironically, Holden is also owned by GM.

[brodee]

They are a Buick trademark and have NEVER been exhaust ports from the factory. They first showed up on the '49 Buick and the GM marketing machine is bringing them back.

Here's a little background about where they came from.
"According to legend, the portholes were the invention of ace stylist Ned Nickles who reportedly had round holes cut in the hood of his car. The holes were finished with chrome-plated surrounds. Inside the holes were lights whose wiring was linked to the distributor, the lights pulsating along with the motor's revving, mimicking flames emitted from the exhaust stacks or a race car or airplane. Buick managers thought the portholes looked nifty, but on production cars the ports were not actual holes (the centers were simply black paint) and there was no fake exhaust flaming."

http://www.2blowhards.com/archives/Riviera%20-%2049.jpg

[infurno]

You mean this?

http://images.motortrend.com/auto_shows/coverage/sema/112_2006_sema_61z+2007_buick_lucerne_CXX+front_vie w.jpg
http://www.theautochannel.com/news/2006/02/20/211077.1-lg.jpg

I noticed them too, but i don't think its so bad. Adds a bit of flare to a pretty boring looking car.

[Macv]

Buicks are boring cars though. ;)

[Bin_jammin]

They are nowadays. One of my dream cars is the Buick GS stage 1. Serious muscle car, and one of the few that ever looked good in yellow. http://awesomecarauctions.com/uploaded_images/1970%20buick%20skylark%20gs455%20convertible-737882.jpg

Also wouldn't mind a Grand National, or a GNX.
http://www.gnxregistry.com/images/GNX_XRAY_725x412.JPG

Of course they handled pretty poorly, not so terrible on the GNX, but certainly the GS. Man alive though, in a straight line they'll outrun quite a few cars. And no, I'm not a secret American car lover, I'm a car nut.

[repenttokyo]

In 1987 the GNX was the faster than the Vette - one of the reasons why it was killed.

[swenpro]

Buicks are boring cars though. ;)

Not that I'm a big buick fan or anything, but I read the other day that the new 2008 Buick Enclave is the first Buick--pretty much ever--to have a waiting list! People really want this "crossover" I guess it's really nice

[markus]

hahah you guys do realize american cars are NOTHING compared to what they were almost 40 years ago? American car companies just cant compete with their forgien counterparts.

I just picked up the new issue of motor trend, the one with the G37 coupe beating the 335i coupe. Inside theres an article about how Caddy is aiming for BMW now with 2 new models they will be introducing. They are coming out with a BSX which is aimed to take on the 3 series.

Lets rewind here about 20 years. What the hell did caddy have ? those big ugly sedan deville land yachs. now they decide they want to take on BMW? They have lots of ground to cover. I dont understand why amerian car compaines are starting to produce more interesting cars now. Maybe becuase they are in fact boring and losing sales?

Also why is it when another car GM or Ford brings back its totally lame? Like the dodge charger and the "new" camaro for instance. With all this retro design I think these designers arent coming up with new ideas. They say when you have to reach into the past for new ideas then you are out of them.

Lets be real here. The last time american cars were on top was about 37 years ago when the muscle cars died off from the EPA regulations. Ever since then what have they produced that was something you could be proud to own? Some will say the Z06, but geez, I see so many damn C6s driven by old farts its pathetic. Not to mention the interiors arent much better than a cobalt.

Another interesting tidbit is motor trend gave the best engine awards and BMW took 4 of them, followed by toyota and another company. All of the best engines they voted for were either german or japanese.

[Ross]

ventiports they were referred to as I recall.
Poor Buick, once a proud brand.

[Ross]

As an old fart I resent your Z06 comment, especially since I don't own one.

[brodee]

Also wouldn't mind a Grand National, or a GNX.

Of course they handled pretty poorly, not so terrible on the GNX, but certainly the GS. Man alive though, in a straight line they'll outrun quite a few cars. And no, I'm not a secret American car lover, I'm a car nut.

Everyone, American car lover or not, should have respect for the Grand National because of what is was.

[brodee]

Also why is it when another car GM or Ford brings back its totally lame? Like the dodge charger and the "new" camaro for instance. With all this retro design I think these designers arent coming up with new ideas. They say when you have to reach into the past for new ideas then you are out of them.

Don't forget the Z8 was based on a "retro" design. :)

[ryan roopnarine]

oh wow, they were vestigual from the factory. i did not know that.....
what i'm trying to say, without being too (cough), is that if you don't live in an "urban" area, you don't see every 80s buick skylark and 95 century with these little things stuck onto them these days. like i said, i saw a lincoln town car with these little gits stuck onto it. whether or not buick likes it, the hip-hop volk have co-opted their little stick on accessories, and it will be interesting to see if they make it past this year's model line. i'm surprised that more people don't see these things in public, and I'm not talking about the GN's subtle body colored ones. i'm talking about buffoons in cobalts sticking three per side onto their cars.

[repenttokyo]

hahah you guys do realize american cars are NOTHING compared to what they were almost 40 years ago? American car companies just cant compete with their forgien counterparts.

I just picked up the new issue of motor trend, the one with the G37 coupe beating the 335i coupe. Inside theres an article about how Caddy is aiming for BMW now with 2 new models they will be introducing. They are coming out with a BSX which is aimed to take on the 3 series.

Lets rewind here about 20 years. What the hell did caddy have ? those big ugly sedan deville land yachs. now they decide they want to take on BMW? They have lots of ground to cover. I dont understand why amerian car compaines are starting to produce more interesting cars now. Maybe becuase they are in fact boring and losing sales?

Also why is it when another car GM or Ford brings back its totally lame? Like the dodge charger and the "new" camaro for instance. With all this retro design I think these designers arent coming up with new ideas. They say when you have to reach into the past for new ideas then you are out of them.

Lets be real here. The last time american cars were on top was about 37 years ago when the muscle cars died off from the EPA regulations. Ever since then what have they produced that was something you could be proud to own? Some will say the Z06, but geez, I see so many damn C6s driven by old farts its pathetic. Not to mention the interiors arent much better than a cobalt.

Another interesting tidbit is motor trend gave the best engine awards and BMW took 4 of them, followed by toyota and another company. All of the best engines they voted for were either german or japanese.

I understand you have a bias, but there are plenty of american cars that are pretty damn cool. The CTS-V is a sick machine, handles well, insanely fast, very moddable. The new Mustang is extremely popular, as is the 300C, with the 345 hp Hemi V8, which was every magazine's car of the year when it came out, and actually was a repeat car of the year winner. The Cobalt SS and the Neon SRT4 are inexpensive rockets that have killer perfomance and much modabbility. The Z06 is close to a Ferrari-killer. The Ford GT is an amazing vehicle. And that's just what is being produced currently. There are plenty of american cars I would have been proud to own in the last 37 years. In any case, it's not like BMW is offering any alternatives: every Bangle-styled BMW is a hideous abomination that makes me want to throw up whenever I see one on the road.

[Herb]

On the Buick the 3 per side indicate the 6 cyl. and the 4 per side indicate the 8 cyl., FYI.

So I should get a set of 6 and put them in a straight line in the center of my hood? Right?

[swenpro]

I dont understand why amerian car compaines are starting to produce more interesting cars now.

haha, what a great quote--I think because they HAVE to!! Thank you for clearing up the other side of the picture, repenttokyo. In fact Cadillac is the first of GM's brands to have finally been restructured... they've been competing with BMW since the launch of the first CTS in 2002, and now after redesigning all their cars they have returned to a new CTS for this fall. Additionally, other GM brands are making steps forward (ie Pontiac RWDs like the G8--sexy) courtesy of Bob Lutz's design authority.

[attack eagle]

Nothing wrong with american cars just because they are american...

There are several american "cars" i'd love to own
Buick GS stage 1
GSX
Syclone


and maybe even a 300C or a Magnum... If I didn't have an e34T then next closest new car in size and practicality is the magnum after all... not the new 5 series Touring.


There is nothing wrong with retro designs... Honda s2000, z8, miata, Mustang , 300C (look at an 80s rolls royce) are all beloved and most importantly good selling retro designs.

[markus]

dont forget the shaker hood too.

[repenttokyo]

yeah, but shaker hoods are functional air induction....I think the most recent shaker hoods were on the previous generation mustang mach ones.

[///Sniper535]

I think ALL american cars are a piece of crap, some more than others. All they're good for is going in a straight line at best. They handle like **** and have no style on the outside and ESPECIALLY the inside. I'll stick to euro cars. I'm very picky with jap cars though due to the whole ricer thing because I'm a young male,but i would rather have a jap car than an American car any day.

[repenttokyo]

that's a really researched, informed opinion.

[markus]

my thoughts also. seems like they cant make a single car right without ****ing something up. the interiors are probly the worst. even GM's top of the line corvette has an interior thats reminscent of a cavalier. cheap plastic and shitty rubbery "leather" is all I can see. atleast they are brining back RWD. The pontiac G8 does look interesting but dont forget, its not made here, its a rebadged holden. why doesnt GM just sell all of the euro cars here? They seem a lot better made and more sporty.

[///Sniper535]

I hear the Ford Mondeo is a pretty good car over in Europe. Ford sucks here. lol

[markus]

jaguar x type = ford mondeo. i have drvien an x type and its a POS.

[ryan roopnarine]

that 300c is not an 80s rolls royce. it's a stupid imitation bentley. though my camera phone memory was full at the time, i once caught a picture of a 300 with a "B" logo that was specially shaped to fit into the chrysler trunk badge position. and that SOB came from a mercedes dealership, if the license plate frame is to be believed.

[attack eagle]

ah but bentley and rolls shared coachwork back then

[rob101]

why doesnt GM just sell all of the euro cars here? They seem a lot better made and more sporty.
they aren't that great i am sorry to inform you. They cost as much as a bmw to run and they suck. plus they fall apart and are designed by morons (early 2000s astra has torx screws and bolt heads on everything and i do mean everything).
I would say, you'd be better off with just the american models.

[GJPinAU]

you'd never see crap like that on a BMW.

Or would you?

507, E39 M5, E46 M3, Z3 and so on...

I'm sure the latest version of the Vauxhall/Commodore/Pontiac is a copy of every euro car out there. Very original!

[repenttokyo]

e39 m5 has no bits like that at all.