OT: A very expensive DIY car wash

[whiskychaser]

Dont really like taking my car to the Albanians for the hand car wash. They do a good job but I know what goes into TFR. So I decide to do a proper job myself today. Drive the car to the back of the house and am just rinsing when I notice what I think is a piece of paper stuck to the front o/s tyre. I think this is going to drive me crazy going 'tic tic tic' so I remove it. Only it isnt paper its a piece of glass and my tyre starts to deflate rapidly. Followed by Muttley-speak from me. Nip inside PDQ for the trolley jack before it gets so low I cant get the jack under. Swap the wheels no problem. Tighten the first bolt and get a 'click' - my new breaker bar just broke :-( So this is going to cost me about £80 for a tyre and another £20 for a new breaker bar. When I could have paid a fiver to watch somebody else wash the damn car. They would even put tyre black on :-(

[repenttokyo]

TFR? Albanians?

[ryan roopnarine]

if your lucky with the size/extent of the hole, and the car is kept stationary, chewing gum will hold long enough to get a jack to stick under there. the key is to have somebody to yell at and get you some chewing gum while you hold your finger over the hole. i've had to hold my finger over multiple holes since the beginning of 2007. i've transitioned away from the chewing gum (i don't like gum, and don't like to keep it around, makes others want to chew it in front of me) and just keep some plugs in the toolbox instead. with practice, you might one day be a super stud like me:

1) cognition that something you've done/something to make the woosh sound from your tire, maybe letting the car roll backwards in N to find out where the fcking hole is.

2) ramming down your finger into the hole, and finding out the minimum amount of pressure necessary to keep the whoosh from reoccuring--cause you'll only get angry and tired if you do it harder than need be. this technique works best with worn down tires, because it is hard to get to holes when the treads are worth anything.

3) politely yelling for somebody to come open the trunk, or get the jack from location x. this is the hard part, as i invariably curse, and then the second party thinks that I am cursing at them. this causes them to drag their feet unnecessarily, or tell me off.

4) giving up on the second party getting the jack for you, and making the mental preparation to do a windsprint to the trunk to get jack for you.

5) doing the sprint, and figuring out that there's no way in hell that your going to jack the car up before it is on the ground. at this point, i usually grab the pointy awl tool that you use to clean the hole out before you put the plug in, and ram it into the hole. the car is basically on the ground by the time you get back

6) jack the car up

7) see if you can install the plug before all of the air comes out. wasn't going to happen.....

8) lower the car enough so that you can get traction to remove the wheel....

9) dick around with the tire off the car

10) reinstall tire

11) realise that you were wearing nice clothes before you started your little chinese fire drill, which are now covered in smut. furthermore, some of the little tire plug and adhesive are on your clothes, which NEVER comes out (from experience).

10) reinflate the tire.

11) marvel at your technical finesse. your self esteem, however, deflates once you realise the.......

12) superiority of the opposite sex, vis a vis the fact that you could have done all of this in 3 steps if you had some fixaflat in the car.

[ThoreauHD]

Jesus Christ Whiskey Chaser, are you British or something? I think I understood 30% of what you posted.

[whiskychaser]

Jesus Christ Whiskey Chaser, are you British or something? I think I understood 30% of what you posted.

Apologies gentlemen. I AM British and modest so I wont claim I'm a super stud as Ryan does :D The tyre was cut right on the shoulder so is useless. I didnt have any gum handy or time to chew it- if I had the presence of mind to do so anyway. Footnotes for those who need them:
TFR = traffic film remover. Its what they use in pressure washers
Albanians = People from Albania. They operate a hand car wash near me.
O/S = offside. Opposite to N/S or nearside - the side of the car nearest the curb
Muttley-speak= Language spoken by dog Muttley of Dastardly and Muttley fame. Characterised by unintelligible words spoken through gritted teeth
PDQ = pretty damn quick
Tyre black = black stuff you put on tyres to make them look new/clean
Whisky= Produce of Scotland. Add an 'E' only if you are talking Irish whiskey (eg Jamiesons)
I'm sure I will be told if I missed something :D

[leicesterboy15]

Apologies gentlemen. I AM British and modest so I wont claim I'm a super stud as Ryan does :D The tyre was cut right on the shoulder so is useless. I didnt have any gum handy or time to chew it- if I had the presence of mind to do so anyway. Footnotes for those who need them:
TFR = traffic film remover. Its what they use in pressure washers
Albanians = People from Albania. They operate a hand car wash near me.
O/S = offside. Opposite to N/S or nearside - the side of the car nearest the curb
Muttley-speak= Language spoken by dog Muttley of Dastardly and Muttley fame. Characterised by unintelligible words spoken through gritted teeth
PDQ = pretty damn quick
Tyre black = black stuff you put on tyres to make them look new/clean
Whisky= Produce of Scotland. Add an 'E' only if you are talking Irish whiskey (eg Jamiesons)
I'm sure I will be told if I missed something :D

Quality :D Now I have to dry my pants.

So what TFR do they use? Don't they normally spray something over the car before they jet wash? Why is it so bad?

[whiskychaser]

Quality :D Now I have to dry my pants.

So what TFR do they use? Don't they normally spray something over the car before they jet wash? Why is it so bad?

Dont know the make of TFR but its really meant to just get rid of road grime. Its often very alkali. Its good at what it does but can leave the paint unprotected or dull. I dont really like the idea of using pressure washers anyway but thats another story. Have fun with the laundry :-)

Edit: This ad may illustrate what I'm on about regarding TFR-see what it gets rid of :http://www.valeterspride.co.uk/caustic-traffic-film-remover--tfr-91-dilution-valeting-products-64-p.asp

[GJPinAU]

It is also good for destroying the clear-cote on your car.

I'm up for a re-spray on roof and trunk lid.