"DING" is the worst noise in the E34...especially tonight!

[BMW4LIFE]

So I do have to say that I need to go buy a lotto ticket tonight...3 Dash Dings in one night

Turn on my headlights at around 4 (DING) low beam

around 530 (DING) fog light

on my drive home around 10 (DING) brake light

3 lights out in one night!

Beat that peeps! ;):p:D

[BennyM]

This doesn't beat that, but I always get more dings when the outside temp goes below 0, which it is here in MN. Tonight: Ding, SEATBELT. Ding, COOLANT LEVEL. Ding, LIC PLATE LITE. DING DING DING. Aside from the seatbelt, the other warnings were erroneous.



So I do have to say that I need to go buy a lotto ticket tonight...3 Dash Dings in one night

Turn on my headlights at around 4 (DING) low beam

around 530 (DING) fog light

on my drive home around 10 (DING) brake light

3 lights out in one night!

Beat that peeps! ;):p:D

[Ferret]

I managed a *ding* this morning... while smashing through the ice to get into the car :)

[BMW4LIFE]

I managed a *ding* this morning... while smashing through the ice to get into the car :)

hahahhaa!!!

[BMW4LIFE]

This doesn't beat that, but I always get more dings when the outside temp goes below 0, which it is here in MN. Tonight: Ding, SEATBELT. Ding, COOLANT LEVEL. Ding, LIC PLATE LITE. DING DING DING. Aside from the seatbelt, the other warnings were erroneous.

you know whats funny...my lights always burn out in the months of oct, nov, dec

like the cold constricts the filament and when i turn it on...POP...

=/I need LED! :p;)

[Tiger]

Check your voltage while the car is running. You might have overvoltage.

[BMW4LIFE]

Check your voltage while the car is running. You might have overvoltage.

not sure how to do that...can i just go to autozone and have them check that for me?

[shogun]

just unlock the OBC, function test for voltage.

[BMW4LIFE]

just unlock the OBC, function test for voltage.

sorry to sound like a dummy shogun but i am confused

what do i do?

[shogun]

OBC unlocking: http://home.iae.nl/users/bts/obc.htm
Important: it is test number 9, NOT 8
8 is Instantaneous speed = V = velocity, some people misunderstand V for volts, but that means speed.
So if you have 50 v, that is not 50 volts but 50 miles.
volts are shown like this

http://home.iae.nl/users/bts/images/Func09.jpg


------------------------------------------------------------------
another master piece from Bimmernut history

How I Fixed The Gong - by Ian Nicholson

Hi Everyone,

Well, my gong didn't work. All the readings of the manual telling me how the gong would warn me of all manner of things left me feeling empty, worthless and alone.

All my friends on bimmer.info had working gongs - and loved them. For me, the sound of silence announced the Check Control display. I could only look on with weary eyes and wonder what angel's song could possibly accompany the sheer poetry of "LIMIT 50Km/h".

Alas, I was doomed never to hear the dulcet tone of the BMW E34 5 series gong... or was I?

At once, in a fit of determined outrage I clutched my electric screwdriver and launched myself at the unsuspecting screws that held the panel between the pedals and my steering wheel closely cosseted to the bosom of my Five.

Each fell and surrendered themselves as dull thuds to the footwell carpet.

Soon, and with great trepidation, I gently peeled the panel away. Blinking in the dark I reached for the glovebox torch, and in its pearly light I caught a glimpse of my prize. For there, mummified among the soundproof padding in all it's revealed magnificence was... the BMW gong.

I gently pinched the clips that held it fast in the panel, and plucked the leads such that it dropped as would a ripened fruit into my hands.

Back inside, I pondered this sonic sarcophagus and laid my plans to reveal its contents. Prising each of the four sprung fasteners in turn, I pushed a strip from some forgotten blister back to hold them back. Teasing the top of the Gong out into the light revealed the marvel of modern electronics that BMW themselves demanded a handsome purse of AU$225 to replace.

But there, below, was the source of my scourge. A scurrilously cheap 50mm speaker, cunningly deployed when the rest of the world uses 57mm speakers in their computers and the like. The cruelty! A quick continuity check confirmed my fears, this cancerous component was the source of my misery.

Hunting the malls of the world wide web I found my answer - a 2-inch wide range speaker from Jaycar:

http://www.jaycar.com.au/

With my trusty tinsnips, I cut more corners off my speaker than BMW did theirs.

And lo, the speaker fit, and it was good. Freshly partnered to the ancient circuit board with honest solder I quickly reassembled the unit.

Rushing back to my eagerly-awaiting Five I inserted the cables and...

"Bing..." - "LIGHTS ON?"

A tear sprung in my eye...

"Bing...!" - "LIGHTS ON?"

I wanted more. In went the key and the 3.0 litre V8 roared into life! Like a giddy schoolboy I punched the LIMIT button and entered 50km/h.

Off I flew into the night...

"Bing...!" - "LIMIT 50Km/h"

With tears welling in my eyes I could no longer see and had to stop for fear of crashing....

Now we're together I want us never to be apart. My friends are talking to me once more and now my life is complete... again.




Fin.

[Tiger]

Yes, they can do a quick check for you for free.

[632 Regal]

I know my car is alive with the dings, used to fear them, now at 220k I like to hear a hearbeat.

[BMW4LIFE]

LADIES AND GENTS....LADIES AND GENTS...CAN I HAVE YOU ATTENTION PLEASE

to my astonishment my car has again surprised me with its superiority in the dinging game!

I officially got my 4th ding in a 24 hour period as my other headlight just went out as I was driving home with a sheriff non the less behind me!!! hahaha

man i really do need to go buy a lotto ticket...

I know I know...you guys must be jealous of my dinging car..but dont be affraid...as you may (hope you dont) experience this fun and exciting event soon enough! :p;):D

[Bo525i]

I have mine set to "ding" me regularly with LED and HIDs, "ding" low beam "ding" lic plate and then there´s the random ones "ding" coolant level "ding" handbrake on "ding" washer fluid low..

It sure is a fine "ding" :D

[Tiger]

I could have sworn that it sounds like "Bong" instead of 'Ding."

[tim eh?]

I think there is a bong and a ding.

The only bong I wish I could turn off is the exterior temperature warning that goes off in the middle of nowhere b/c it's 3' out... it always makes me jump a bit half expecting 'trans program' to appear (so far so good).

[Bo525i]

I think there is a bong and a ding.

The only bong I wish I could turn off is the exterior temperature warning that goes off in the middle of nowhere b/c it's 3' out... it always makes me jump a bit half expecting 'trans program' to appear (so far so good).

Rofl, that bong always scares the crap outta me too, like in "now what?"! :D

[tim eh?]

Rofl, that bong always scares the crap outta me too, like in "now what?"! :D

:D exactly "...please be a light bulb... please please please...."

[h2oyo]

I have noticed over the last few days when I unlock my car and open the door the inside lights blink on and off. It seems like they blink faster when its colder. Should I be worried about this as it doesnt do it when the temp goes up a bit but in the early mornings on my way to work it does it.
Thanks
Johan

[Tiger]

Have your battery tested first... if it is old.

[BMW4LIFE]

Have your battery tested first... if it is old.

yea i think ill do that tomorrow...I want to say that its about 5 years old or so but still kicking like its new!

I LOVE COSTCO! ;)

Changed all the bulbs out today and good so far (crossing my fingers) let see what happens in the following week!

cant wait for the DDM though!!!!!:D

[632 Regal]

i have had many dings over the years as well as bongs, most though in the cold weather are false alarms. I have had only 2 bulbs out in that time. First was the headlight and yes she was blown, ordered 4 sets of Wagner BriteLights to be safe. None of them ever burnt out since. 1 foglight over the years due to a hole in the lens, the latest and most pestering is the Depo tailight error. These have to be near the worst lights to get contact to the bulb holder. Even with stabilant 22A they are a tough customer to get contact with. Took me about 4 days going a week to get a good contact. This included trimming the holder so the contacts expand a bit farther.

I couldn't imagine owning any car without mechanical ability, even if micro ability, would eat you up!