Stress and selling your car

[Matt P]

I know I've been pretty quiet around here for a while, and upon thinking about writing this post I realized it almost sounds like a cry for help. Maybe not for help, but at least for sanity. Basically, I am asking 'Am I the only one who gets this way, or is this normal'? Ok.. I'll get to the E34 related part...

In a nutshell; My life for the last few months has been on the verge of all consuming/overwhelming (working zany hours to finish big game for Xbox, wife out with major knee surgery, child out with surgery, every non-working, awake monent spent caring for child + infant), and out of that, I have been driving my M5 to work and back for almost 2 months straight (I've was unable to arrange for someone to drive me across the DFW metro area to BMS to retrieve my 535i).

Instead of enjoying the drive (and hitting the S-curve past the east end of hwy-190 @ 60+) I find myself really, seriously, considering just selling the M5 Touring, without any plans or ideas for its replacement. Not just for a fleeting moment, but for the last couple weeks its been on my mind continously.

So my question is: have any of you gone through a similar time where there is no joy in BMW-ville, and did it change when things lightened up?

Thanks for any perspective,
seriously,
-Matt P

[Paul in NZ]

matt,seriously you cannot make such desicions at a time like this....at a time when i am out ofcontrol at my work i find myself thinking the opposite,buying another car...why?... to exert some control on my out of control life!Of course that would mean the 535 would have to go...

[Phil Sanderson]

...So my question is: have any of you gone through a similar time where there is no joy in BMW-ville, and did it change when things lightened up?

Put your M5 in the garage with a cover over it if possible. Drive one of the others to work if you can - make the effort. If you are like me then obtaining that M5T was a goal in your life, something you appreciate and something you would like to keep until it or you drops. In the good times you obviously enjoy your driving as I can see by the cars in your garage. Letting something like that go (a dream) when you may be in a slightly depressed mind would be a decision you would regret - hell sell the 535 - you can always buy another.

When I get depressed Matt, I don't sell something, I usually go out and buy something. If it's just a change in circumstances you are looking for, go buy a big TV or something else that is new to take your mind off things.

A couple of guarantees I will give you:
1. Your wife's leg will heel and she will be able to do those things she really would rather be doing.
2. You will be able to pick up the 535.
3. You will get past this slightly cloudy bit in your life and you will go to your garage remove the car cover, look at the M5T and think - "What the hell was I thinking". Life's too short.

hope this helps
Phil

[MBXB]

Matt,

You have a PM.

[scott540]

Matt, I went so far a few years ago to actually put a for sale sign in the 540. I drove a few new cars- hated them. Same deal, very sick kid, new baby,, worried that the 540 was going to eat me alive financially. One day I picked my 4 year old son up from daycare. He got in and after I buckled him him he ripped the for sale sign down then looked at me kind of shocked and scared he said I'm sorry, I try to get it back on. I just laughed and said" it's ok just leave it, we're not selling it" Sometimes it takes a 4 year old going through to really let you know what's going on.

[Patrick]

When you've got stress from real-life issues/problems there's certainly not much joy to be found in any materialism. You start to realize that it's just metal, albeit nice metal, and it's just takes money to buy/maintain/insure it. In the end you can't take it with you, and nothing is as important as your family or friends.
However, that's no reason to seek retail-therapy by selling it and buying something else when you're feeling down. Things will improve -in the mean time don't do something you may regret.
Hth.

[bimmerd00d]

Matt, I would be more than happy to take you to pick up your 535 after work one day, you dont live too terribly far from me! I would hate to see you sell the M5, there'd be that empty space in your garage after that and i dont know about you but i'd die if i had that empty garage with your car missing. PLEASE think about this long and hard, and if you do, certain local friends would love a purchase of such a great car ;)

[Alan_525i]

I have been going through this same thing right now. With my mounting law school debt and the current blown headgasket (got word this week that the head is NOT cracked, and for those of you keeping track, yes the car has been there since the first week of december), my lack of need of a car in Philadelphia, my hatred of city roads and other assorted issues have had me seriously considering moving the car. But then i looked a pics of it from a meet last summer and thought about driving down kelly drive this spring and there is no way I could do without it. Even if I did sell it, by summer I'd be jonesing for another bimmer that might cost me even more in maint as I have now done almost everything there is to do.

With all the money you've put in the M5 and the small chance of every owning something that unique again, I think selling it at this point just because of the serious but unrelated conditions in your life just isn't a good idea.

my 2 cents.

[billb]

Just before plunging into parenthood, I had an epiphany that involved selling off my tired '85 RX7 (which was all I could afford "dream-wise"in college) to someone who wanted it worse. Of course, I had been eyeing E30s for a year at that point, and had my 318is scoped out. That was my goal, and I executed. Of course, the 318is turned into somewhat of a money pit (things are not always as they seem on the surface), but I think I'm winning the battle. Around Christmas, a couple of nice local 535s popped up, and I seriously considered selling the E30. I was feeling overwhelmed by costs to maintain 2 aging BMWs, failing health of my grandmother, insurance, the stress of Christmas, a friendship crisis between the wife and her "best friend"(?), etc., you name it, I could grow a gray hair for it.

But in the end, Jr intervened, and said "whatchu thinkin?" or something along those lines. Now I'm focused. Prepare the 318is for July driver's school. Get more involved in the CCA (by the way, come on down to Oktoberfest in September...I'm in charge of the Fun Rally!!). Do some charity work. Spend more time with family (especially those that may not be around too much longer). Love the wife, love the kids, but make time for yourself too. They can't make it if you're a wreck. Put the M5T under the covers for a while. Get the 535, take the long way home, and enjoy the 535 for what it is, the daily driver. Then when you're feeling blue, pull out the M5T for a bit. I do that sometimes as well (daily drive the E30 until it's down for maintenance, then drive the Explorer to remind me how the soccer moms feel :p ), and then drive the Model A to put a smile back on my face.

In the end, don't let all the negatives outweigh the positives. There are worse places in the world to be right now (Iraq, Afghanistan, homeless on the streets), so sometimes counting blessings is in order.

[billy in slo]

I know I've been pretty quiet around here for a while, and upon thinking about writing this post I realized it almost sounds like a cry for help. Maybe not for help, but at least for sanity. Basically, I am asking 'Am I the only one who gets this way, or is this normal'? Ok.. I'll get to the E34 related part...

In a nutshell; My life for the last few months has been on the verge of all consuming/overwhelming (working zany hours to finish big game for Xbox, wife out with major knee surgery, child out with surgery, every non-working, awake monent spent caring for child + infant), and out of that, I have been driving my M5 to work and back for almost 2 months straight (I've was unable to arrange for someone to drive me across the DFW metro area to BMS to retrieve my 535i).

Instead of enjoying the drive (and hitting the S-curve past the east end of hwy-190 @ 60+) I find myself really, seriously, considering just selling the M5 Touring, without any plans or ideas for its replacement. Not just for a fleeting moment, but for the last couple weeks its been on my mind continously.

So my question is: have any of you gone through a similar time where there is no joy in BMW-ville, and did it change when things lightened up?

Thanks for any perspective,
seriously,
-Matt P
To answer your question, ya, we all get overwhelmed with life, all have our own stories, and when it is your story it is real to you, while it may not sound too bad compared to someone else's story it is more your state of mind than the actual circumstances. We all react different to stress, I'm in the school of thought that if I buy another car or more go-fast goodies I will feel better but it is short lived happiness. Sometimes I need to take a break from the "boards" so I don't get caught up in "keeping up with the Jones's" syndrome. I don't know your car but it sounds like a keeper. I would park it, pick up the 535 and then do some praying for God who loves you and knows what you are going through and wants you to be happy to bring REAL joy to your life. I hope I can say this w/o offending anyone. I've been there and done that and know it works. Take care.

[DueyT]

Matt, unless your 540iT was an S62 in it with a 6-speed...keep the 5T...she's a classic and you'd feel really bad when your current life situation smooths out and you think, "what the heck did I do that for?"

Think about control over things in your life. If you can change/affect things...do so. If you can't...there's nothing you can do anyway, you're along for the ride. It sounds easy to say, but not getting stressed over things you have little or no control over takes a bit of practice.

Cheers,
Duey

[andyman32]

Though I'm a bit shamed to admit it (since so many of the guys on this board have helped me out w/ my car), I've tried to sell my 540. Apparently, there's no market for the cars. I paid $8500 for it a year ago. I've easily put $1500 into it. Now I barely even get any responses at $8000. Incredible! Even this is an absurdly low price.

Well, old Volkker just turned 100,000 on Saturday. Now suddenly my heart softens and I'm thinking... maybe this is the time to just keep him and see if I can get another 100K out of him over the next 12-15 years. (I don't put much mileage on the car... 4500 last year.)

ATM, there are some upcoming problems - a very slow leak in the cooling system (STILL! after a new pump, tstat housing/tstat, hoses & radiator), and an unpleasant whirrrrr coming from the front of the engine compartment, which I believe to be the fan clutch. And, the steering is making some disturbing little hisses and squeaks. But I believe, at this exact moment, indeed, there is no joy in BMWville for me.

Of course, nothing is NON-FUNCTIONAL; but by my standards, they're broken enough to demand repair as soon as reasonably possible.

[632 Regal]

as with a Bimmer, if and when in doubt replace, probably due as maintenance anyways. I never heard of this before I bought my Bimmer but I'll say since I have replaced, bled, changed, and took care of it I have had zero problems. I may be lucky and I may have gotten a well taken care of vehicle without full records but ill bet if I didnt replace them stupid things that dont need replacing id be stranded in an expensive situation. Once its done then its supposed to be done. Andy, sounds like you only have a couple things left to do since the car is only worth scrap. Looks a lot better not being squished up in a tidy little box anyways. :D

[andyman32]

Yeah, well, at this point I'm pretty frustrated trying to track down that last little leak in the cooling system. I thought it might be the pipes that run under the intake between the pump and the accumulator, because one of them came unseated when I pulled off the old pump, and someone here said you can't get them properly re-seated without taking off the intake. But I DID manage to guide it back in and seat it, and the O-rings are built in to the accumulator and pump anyhow, so it couldn't have lost an o-ring.

I'm seriously starting to think it's a headgasket. I know that would be strange, since Volkker has an M62 block, and that means the surgery was conducted sometime 1997 or later. But I'm losing coolant from SOMEWHERE, I can't spot it anywhere around the front components, or around the accumulator or expansion tank. Plus, the exhaust is too foggy, even when the car is warm and on a warm day, and it burns NO oil whatsoever. That's the big worry right now.

As for the power steering, I have the new hoses, but not a new pump or new banjo bolts. And... heavens forbid it's the gearbox!!! :'(

So... the car will need some TLC (read: a few thousand dollars and many hours of work) over the next two years.

I don't know... I'm just most apprehensive about that coolant leak. If that was all taken care of I'd be blissfully happy with Volkker. :-\

[632 Regal]

WHOAAAAA.... now let me recollect after 12 beers.

a coolant leak, mystified at that, no chance of a leak cause the tube made it back without losing the "O" ring.... let me think.

I guess you can put the dirty old crudded oxidized pipe back in its place with the old rubber hard cracked corroded "O" ring, no one said it wouldnt leak, just that it wouldnt seal up without pulling the intake and replacing it.

the front of the pipe that went into the new waterpump did it look completley kosher to you or did you clean it up since it was out? Mann Id guess it might be that old seal in the back that you have to remove the intake for thats leaking. There is 2 tubes also.

while your at it and have the intake off (preventative of course) replace the PCV plate, the intake gaskets and the vally pan while your in there, should be good for at least a couple more years without any problems.

You may have done this but I dont remember much besides you snaked the pipe back in and then had a mystery leak.

LOL

sorry mann.

[andyman32]

Hey Jeff, where I left off with this project was shy of removing the intake. I don't have a garage, and that's a forbidding project for someone who has never done that before and who does not have a garage to work in.

When the pipe came unseated, it was COMPLETELY clean. Absolutely no corrosion or dirt whatsoever. And, the rubber seal inside the old water pump was still resilient and intact. (And, yes, I know, there's 2 pipes... haha)

If I had plenty of time and a garage, I'd dive right in there; I'd take off the intake just to replace the gaskets. Unfortunately, I have neither, nor will I have either at any point in the foreseeable future.

I know this is a real cop-out, but if I keep the car, I'm considering just handing it off to my indy and saying, "Do whatever you have to to find the leak and fix it." I'm just so bloody frustrated with messing with the coolant system, tinkering with it, looking for this stupid leak!!!!

[632 Regal]

I feel your pain Andy, I have a garage but havent done anything in it lately. Without one makes a shitty job even more challanging to say the least. I have never done anything like this and it intimidates the $hit outta me but I would try.

You have had a bunch of problems with that thing since you had it due to one reason or another. I think your frustration lies due to the ever emminating problems you have had with it, I fortunatley havent had many (any?) with mine. Simple **** that you cant cure exhausts your self being with these things but once its straightened out you will be done for a long time.

Keep your persistance and goals, If I could afford someone to work on my stuff that I trusted to do it right I would have all them things mentioned above done just for maintenance. you know my situation or I would simply take your car and make good things come of it.

Relax, take you time or have it done right for you.

[Zeuk in Oz]

I have the solution: borrow or hire a Toyota Landcruiser or Prado (your Highlander i think). These are the worst handling vehicles I have ever driven. After a week or so in one of these, driving any of your Bimmers will seem like heaven and your joy of driving will return. :D

Seriously though Matt - sounds to me like you need some time off. A week or 2 of decent amounts of sleep might even make everything take on a different perspective. Good luck. Things will get better given time.

[Javier]

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