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Thread: mens verses womens showers

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default mens verses womens showers

    How to Shower Like a Woman:
    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    3.. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
    4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
    5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
    11. Shave armpits and legs.
    12. Turn off shower.
    13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
    16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man:
    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
    4. Get in the shower
    5. Wash your face.
    6. Wash your armpits.
    7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
    9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    11. Shampoo your hair.
    12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
    13. Pee.
    14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
    15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
    16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
    19. Throw wet towel on bed.
    all america wants is cold beer warm cat and a place to take a poop with a door on it

  2. #2
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    Jan 2004
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    Default the ...

    "woo-woo" sound thing makes it worth your while to read the whole thing.
    "..Torchinski v. Peterson that it is legal to carry a concealed weapon, so long the weapon is totally slick like a huge ass machine gun that you carry under a trench coat, like in the Matrix."


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Default

    all america wants is cold beer warm cat and a place to take a poop with a door on it

  4. #4
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    Default i've got self control....

    coming out of my @ss, not gonna click on that link, nuh uh.
    "..Torchinski v. Peterson that it is legal to carry a concealed weapon, so long the weapon is totally slick like a huge ass machine gun that you carry under a trench coat, like in the Matrix."


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Default

    i like clicking on one of the sound links a buncha times and getting that cool echo
    all america wants is cold beer warm cat and a place to take a poop with a door on it

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Eastern Tennessee USi
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    Default Woo Wooooooooooo Exhaust whistles get them here!

    I was thinkin about making ones you can just stick in the exhaust and sellin em on Ebay...maybe thats a real idea...........hmmmmmmmmmmmm
    95 E34 530I V2.37
    ===========
    Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

    John F. Kennedy

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