SOT: e39 alpina b5? my ASS!

[steve0suprem0]

NOTE: this is really just another wrong-badge-for-the-car threads. feel free to ignore.

so i was a little drunk last week, walking back from the store with a twelver... noticed a purple (i'm assuming daytona violet, but who the hell knows) e39 with "alpina b5" on the back. m5 on the fender mouldings. alpina centercaps in some gawd-awful 5-spoke wheels. smoked tails. i asked the little snot-nosed punks i'm always keeping an eye on (they ride their huffys a little too close to my car for comfort) if they knew whose it belonged to and they replied in the negative. i told them the specimen was NOT an alpina, this was NOT an m5, that b5 is NOT for that model and proceeded to generally exuded irateness. calmed down and explained that (and here's where i hope you can check my math... or something)

1. the e39 alpinas were either b10 or d10.
2. b5 must be e60
3. alpina wheels ALL have 20 spokes, including the new 5-star configuration.
4. nobody intheir right mind would purchase an alpina and change those characteristic wheels.
5. no alpina has m5 badging on the fender mouldings.
6. no m5 has dual-tip exhaust out only the left side of the bumper
7. we live in the ghetto. nobody here could afford a real alpina, let alone import one, even if they had the slightest clue what alpina meant.

is the above all true? i don't wanna give any car lectures and get my facts mixed up. were e39 alpinas even offered to north america?

i'll see if i can't get some pix so you can laugh at this thing. anyway, the kids just looked at me like a madman, like "who the hell cares?" well, i'll tell you, I CARE. i care a lot. i care because when i see alpina on the back of a car, and my pants get tight, i'd like it to be for good reason. not because some jerk is showing off to people who can't even appreciate what he's faking.

[Dave M]

7. we live in the ghetto. nobody here could afford a real alpina, let alone import one, even if they had the slightest clue what alpina meant.

.

Maybe the hood rats "imported it" from "not the hood", then proceeded to "hood it up".