******* Joke *******

[mikell]

A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of no where, parks his bike and walks inside.

As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00

HAMBURGER: $2.25

CHEESEBURGER: $2.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50

HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.

She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.

"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"

The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am".

The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, ‘cause I want a cheeseburger".

[GJPinAU]

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She
was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and
hair all matted down.

We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to
the vet.

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let
us know when we could come and get her.

My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash
her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me)
that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don't
see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O?, and my
husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'.

They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one
another, with my husband getting in the last word on this
particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is
located in the same building, next door to the vet. The MD's
waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor...

A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen
my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud
voice, said,

'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more'. We washed and shaved
it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think
she's pregnant.
God only knows who the father is! Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting EVEN.