Ian, first rule of thumb...dont panic!
The oil on the plugs is most likely from a bad valve cover gasket, That can in turn cause the miss that you are experiencing. For shits and giggles try to wipe the oil out of there and replace the plugs and see if that helps. If they are fouling in the cylinders that could also be caused from oil getting around the outside of the plugs. I think I follow what you are trying to explain, more info is good.
Geed luck!
95 E34 530I V2.37
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Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy